


Timing is Everything

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Mild Gore, Not Beta Read, Pining, Rare Pairings, Unrequited Love, not beta read we die like men, there's mention of blood when the flowers come out so idk, wow i write nothing but rare pairs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:08:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24181114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Akinori is hopelessly in love with someone he can never have.Keiji is in love with someone else.They couldn't feel farther apart, more seperate. . . until they do.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Konoha Akinori
Comments: 3
Kudos: 62





	Timing is Everything

He wasn’t exactly sure when it started, his brain couldn’t quite order the events.

It could’ve been when he had walked into the gym on that first day, running his fingers through his tousled black hair and smiling up at the coach. It could’ve been when he first bowed in front of the second and third years, thanking them for the opportunity to be their setter. It could’ve been the times he not-so-subtly toyed with his fingers when anxious or bored. It could’ve been when he saw the perfect posture and stance he had when leaving the ground to send an ideal set. It could’ve been when his stoic personality stayed stoic as he was voted vice captain instead of Akinori. It could’ve been any number of times; but Akinori was not ready to determine which.

“Aki~” A hand was waving in front of his face, and he looked up at Sarukui, who was snapping him out of his trance. “Come on, we’re gonna do a few plays with you setting and coming up from the back.”

He nodded and stood, placing his water on the bench behind him, wiping the edge of his mouth and swallowing nervously. He was good at keeping feelings hidden. Although, he might’ve been too good at it, considering he ended up hiding his own feelings from himself.

He knew he was in love a month ago, when the vines crept up his throat and snared their way around his tongue, spurting flowers and blood throughout his mouth. He choked and coughed for days, missing important practices and tests, only to shake it off and come back in a few days saying “I caught a cold, sorry!”

Akinori strode onto the court, taking his position on the right side this time as the opposing side, with Bokuto and Akaashi, started with a serve. Easily received by Komi, it was passed to him. He slid into position and jumped, sending a clean set to Sarukui. Bokuto received and sent it to Akaashi, who sent it to Washio. The patterns went back and forth, spikers changing and receives being missed or being performed perfectly. When the game was over and Akaashi’s team had won, he frowned slightly.

“Cheer up, Aki-kun~ you know we can’t beat Bokuto!” Komi put a hand on his shoulder and Akinori huffed slightly, blowing air onto a stray piece of hair that flew to the side.

He looked to the side and saw smiling faces and blushing cheeks, an unpleasant bile rising in his throat, crawling up slowly just as it had all those weeks ago. 

“Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom. Be right back~!” He quipped, shooting finger guns in Komi’s direction before slinking off into a bathroom stall.

He plucked petals out of his mouth and attempted to pull out vines that reached so deep they pulled at his stomach. The bitter tang of blood and iron on his tongue became something he grew accustomed to, and no matter what he ate or drank, the only thing he could taste and feel was the flowers and blood that he tried so hard to conceal.

_ He’s not meant for me, that’s all. Maybe if I wish hard enough, the feelings will go away. _

There would always be the solemn two options, and Akinori knew this. He could pay for an expensive surgery to remove the illness at the expense of his feelings, or he could try to win over his unrequited lover’s heart. Then of course, there was the dreaded third option that Akinori knew might be his only option: let the disease take you. 

He sighed and stepped out of the stall, splashing his face with cold water to maybe help snap him out of this stupid trance. Every inch of his body was telling him to just get the surgery, get it over with. But if he did that he would never feel the glow of his smile, or the pride he would get from his name being called in the middle of a game. He would never get butterflies in his stomach when he saw those perfect fingers arch around the ball as a perfect toss was created. He would lose the billions of feelings he got everyday from seeing happy, blue-green eyes that, despite their cool tone, made everything around them burn bright and warm. Akinori would miss those devious, scheming feelings that bubbled up in his stomach and shot out his throat in the form of malicious vines and flowers that shriveled up and died in his mouth.

God, he wanted so bad to live, to see his love be happy. But of course, the universe wouldn’t allow such silly fantasies. Akaashi Keiji’s hands were not meant to hold Akinori’s. Akaashi Keiji’s sets were not created to go to Akinori and Akinori alone. Akaashi Keiji’s smile was not meant for him. Akaashi Keiji and Bokuto Koutarous fit together like perfect puzzle pieces, and as much as it broke Akinori’s heart, it would hurt more to force Akaashi into a place he didn’t belong.

“Fuck this.” 

Forget practice. Konoha Akinori would let himself fall apart on the cold tile floor of the gym’s boys bathroom. He didn’t need to accept or deny his crippling feelings for the one person he couldn’t have.

“Aki?” a voice called out, but Akinori couldn’t hear over the roaring ocean that echoed in his ears. “Aki.” He felt someone crouch down beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Aki, it’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

He wanted to reach out, he wanted to respond or hug him or something, but the vines tugged at his throat and held him back, so that all he could do was let out a choked sob that shot petals out of his mouth.

Saru’s eyes widened, and his stare burned holes into Akinori’s flesh, but soon the other boy just nodded and held him close. It felt nice to not be alone in this situation. Everything hurt, and Akinori was clueless on how to stop the pain. He let it overwhelm him and here he was shaking like a stupid chihuahua in Saru’s arms.

“Thanks, Saru. I’m okay.”

Saru lets go, standing up and extending a calloused hand out to hoist Akinori off of the ground. He slings Akinori’s arm over his shoulder and helps him out of the bathroom, not needing to say much at all. They both understood.

“Akaashi?”

“Yeah.”

A small nod was made as they walked into the gym, Akinori smiling awkwardly and waving as many worried faces popped into view, slightly blurry since Akinori could only focus on one glowing figure.

“KONOKUNNNN!!!” 

_ Ah, there’s Bokuto. Keep your cool, Akinori. Jealousy ain’t a cute look. _

“Hi, Bo.” He smiled and let go of Saru, offering him a thankful gaze.

“Are you okay? You were in there a while and we were all super worried!” He exclaims, bouncing up to Akinori as he studied his face for anything more to worry about.

“No need to worry. Go back to what you were doing, get Akaashi to set for you.” He slipped away from Bokuto’s harsh gaze, cursing himself for sounding so petty and jealous. He sat down on the bench next to Yukie and Kaori, who were talking about going to a new sushi place downtown. After having his face buried in his hands for the greater part of ten minutes, he felt a body crouch down in front of him again, face looking up at him from below. Slowly peeking through his hands, his instinct was to scream immediately. Thankfully, Akinori had never been one to fall into pressures caused by his instincts.

“Akaashi? What’re you doing?”

“Konoha-san. I’m worried about you.”

Beautiful blue eyes glinting with green specks looked up at him, and he’d be damned if he said he didn’t feel his heartbeat rise and his breaths quicken. He didn’t know how to respond, and it was even more confusing when Akaashi rested a hand on his knee, as if to calm him down. The whole world was spinning, and Akinori couldn’t even focus on looking at the frown lines growing on Akaashi’s face. 

“Konoha-san, please. It’ll be okay.”

_ No, it won’t. It won’t be okay. Everything is falling apart and pretty soon I won’t even have you to remember. Please just go away. If you’re with Bokuto you’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. That’s all that matters. Don’t worry about stupid ol’ me. _

They’re dumb; the things he’s telling himself. He wants to tell Akaashi everything before it’s too late but he can’t. Everytime his eyes meet Keiji’s he can feel the flowers struggle in his mouth, and he begins to cough quietly as he struggles to swallow them.

“I know.” he manages to get that phrase out before he stands up suddenly, putting a hand over his mouth so the unwanted feelings don’t shoot out.

“Konoha-san..?” He can hear Akaashi’s voice, but it doesn’t resonate. It echoes and echoes, and bounces off of the millions of walls in Akinori’s brain. He rushes to an unknown hallway, hearing the loudness of footsteps following him as he coughs into his hand. He feels guilty for running away again, yet it’s better than having his teammates surround him and ask millions of questions.

  
  
  


Eventually, he collapses against a cold wall, meeting the even colder floor as tears escape his eyes.

“Dammit, Akinori… dammit.” 

Today could be going a lot better. The whole team probably knew what was happening now, Saru cares too much to leave everyone out of the loop. He thanks Saru for caring, and he really appreciates it, but he wished that no one knew. That he could just strangle and suffocate on flowers until he vanished from the world, leaving a former love behind.

Ah, but the universe was not kind enough to let him fade into oblivion all on his own. No, people had to know and care about him. People like Akaashi had to make it hard for him to just get the procedure done and over with.

Oh, speak of the devil. Not really a devil, though. More like an angel.

“Konoha-san. Really, are you alright?”

No, a million times no. Because everytime you say my name my stomach does flips and your little pout and furrowed eyebrows are so adorable but you’ll always be Bokuto’s and never mine.

“Yeah. I’m just feeling a little sick.”

“You know Sarukui-san told us everything, right?”

Of course he did, that bastard. “Yeah. I figured.”

“I’m sorry.” Akaashi smiled sadly, and the way his lips turned upward the slightest bit, his eyebrows furrowed over his slanted eyes; oh boy, the way Akinori’s stomach flipped.

He shook his head, there was no need to apologize for feelings that couldn’t be returned. “It’s fine. I’ll be fine.” He smiled brightly at Akaashi, ignoring the stinging in his eyes and the burning in the back of his throat as a metallic flavor rose up. “I need to go.” He stood up and walked as fast as he could to the locker room, quickly collecting his things and hurrying home.

The walk was usually quick, home in ten minutes. Akinori wasn’t sure if it was his feet dragging against the pavement or the way his heart pumped slowly in his chest, but he could barely move. By the time he reached his house, he was out of breath and struggling for air, the vines and puddles of flower petals no longer able to contain themselves. He burst into a bout of coughs, his mother rushing over from the kitchen. He hadn’t told her before, afraid of her worrying too much. But at this point, it was too unbearable for no action to be taken at all. He dropped his bag and leaned onto his mother’s shoulder-unsure of everything.

“Get in the car, Aki.” Her voice was firm, but there was no doubt that she cared, and Akinori didn’t argue. He slipped into the driveway and settled into the passenger seat of the car, coughing into his hand as his mother turned the key.

Akinori felt as if he had done a lot today. He had two tests during school and then, or course, was the whole drama during practice. And now, there he was, in the car on the slightly-too-speedy car ride to the hospital. He was worn out, exhausted even. There was no way he was remotely as okay as he told his friends.

  
  


When they arrived at the hospital and were eventually shown to a room, a nurse thoroughly examined his mouth and throat with a small flashlight, checking to see how swollen it was and ‘how long he had left.’ He didn’t like that phrase. He didn’t want to die.

Ten minutes later, a doctor came in and murmured about surgery to his mother for a while, the words blurring as they collided with Akinori’s head. If he got the surgery, it wouldn’t be the same. Even if Akaashi was in love with Bokuto, Akinori still got to see his small smile from across the room. Even if Akaashi wasn’t in love with him, Akinori could still feel the butterflies that erupted when he saw Akaashi set. If those feelings were gone, what would Akinori do then? He didn’t know when the small crush turned into love, or when the butterflies left him with a forest of flowers. He didn’t even know why.

All eyes were on him, and everything was his decision. If he made the wrong one, he could hurt so many people. To him, he was better off letting the flowers take him to an early grave, but his mother, his sisters, his team… would that affect them? 

He buried his face in his hands, the world crashing down around him. Not everything was perfect, that was reality. Akinori hated it. He wanted to love in silence and watch from afar as Akaashi smiled at a bouncing Bokuto. He wanted to watch Akaashi’s ecstatic cheers after just winning a game. He wanted to hear Akaashi’s quiet laughter when he makes a stupid joke, or see the scowl Akaashi makes when Akinori suggests ignoring Bokuto. Did it hurt to have the one you love be in love with someone else? Yes, of course it did. But Akinori didn’t want to give the feelings up. Akaashi wouldn;t be the same. 

“Can I sleep on it?”

“Of course. Please call our office tomorrow afternoon so we can make arrangements for your decision.”

They went home, and Akinori skipped dinner. He didn’t sleep that night, nor did he answer the many messages that popped up on his phone screen throughout the night. He put his phone on do not disturb at around eleven pm. He crawled out of his bed at eight am to take a hot shower that turned his skin red and plastered his hair to his face. He skipped school, and at noon-time, he finally sulked down stairs and flopped onto the couch. 

“Mom?”

“Yes sweetie?”

He was silent for a moment, trying to choose his words carefully. “I’ll get the surgery.”

His mother nodded, stepping into her office to make a phone call. The phone call. The one that would result in his feelings for Akaashi being erased. 

The Konoha’s weren’t exactly a wealthy family, but they had enough money for the surgery. Even if they didn’t, they’d find a way as long as Akinori said the words. If anything, that was what helped him make the choice. It could’ve been when just before his sister went to bed, when she slipped the only sweet she was allowed for the day under his door. It could’ve been how he could hear his mom’s quiet tears from the other room, hoping her son would choose to stay alive. It might’ve been the hundreds of texts his teammates sent him. The  _ “get well soon” _ s and the  _ “we miss you already” _ s. 

Yes, he loved Akaashi Keiji. But he wasn’t living for only him. He was living for his family. His friends. Akaashi would still be there after the surgery. It just wouldn’t be the same. And Akinori had come to terms with that.

“It’s in two days. On Friday.” His mom stepped out of her office, blonde hair waving up and down as she moved. 

“Sounds good. I’m going to nap.” Akinori smiled lazily, his usual half-assed smirk returning as he walked back upstairs, shutting his bedroom door behind him.

He took out his phone and opened the team group chat, which was as active as always, messages of laughter, memes, and worry in one large line on Akinori’s screen. He decided to text them quickly, letting them know he was alright.

> hey guys, i’m doing great. I have surgery friday though, so that’s fun. :)

More messages were shot back, and Akinori was glad to see they were all okay and happy. That’s all he really wanted. However, he didn’t see akaashi’s contact pop up once, which sent an odd shiver of disappointment down his spine. 

He turned off his phone and went to sleep, despite the early time.

  
  


\-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- 

The days at school passed quickly, he didn’t really bother paying attention. He didn;t go to practice, either. There wasn’t a point since he wasn’t allowed to play.

Before he knew it, it was Friday, and he was sitting in a hospital bed in the OR, a doctor talking to him about what it would be like to go under the anesthesia. Akinori, of course, wasn’t paying attention. He hadn’t seen Akaashi since that time in the hallway, and the next time their eyes met, there wouldn’t be anything behind it. 

“Excuse me, after the surgery, I’ll never love them again, right?”

The doctor nodded slowly. “It’s impossible to regain the feelings.”

Akinori let out a breath of cold air that blew stray hairs out of his eyes. This was it. No more gardens filling his lungs, no more butterflies attacking his stomach. No more vines climbing up his throat and sprouting flowers into his mouth. No more blue-green eyes that were the same color of the ocean during the transition of winter to spring. Akaashi Keiji was like spring, thus, it was Akinori’s favorite season. He wondered if he’d lose his love for the season along with his love for the starry-eyed setter.  _ I guess I’ll find out soon.  _ That was the only reassurance he could give himself. He could only hope that spring didn't lose its colors after Akaashi lost his.

“I’m ready.” He wasn’t.

It was easy to lie and say that he was as the needle was pressed into him. Not too long after, the effects took over him, and the procedure began.

  
  


Hours later, five to be exact, Akinori rustled awake, his eyes blinking and taking in the bright fluorescent lights.

“Welcome back Akinori.” A doctor spoke stoically, holding a pen against a clipboard, scanning the lines. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling great!” He shot two thumbs up to the doctor, who nodded solemnly. 

“You’ll be able to go back to school on Monday, but rest until then and do not engage in any strenuous activity for at least a week. No volleyball.”

He frowned. What was he going to do after school if he couldn’t play volleyball? No, it didn’t matter. He could still see all of his friend’s faces when he showed up at practice, even if it  _ was _ just to sit and watch. He could still see the face of… hmm… he couldn’t remember. Whatever, probably not important.

  
  


A few hours later, he was released from the hospital, the rest of the weekend spent playing games and answering texts. He ate and slept the hours away, waking up early on monday morning, happily singing in the shower and waving about as he got dressed. He hummed to himself as he poured milk into his bowl of cereal, finishing it swiftly and waving ‘goodbye’ to his mother as he slipped through the door.

He slung his bag over his shoulder and watched his feet as he walked to school, occasionally pushing his hair back with his fingers. He finally reached the Fukurodani gym, and smiled cheerfully at everyone. 

“Guess who’s back~!”

When his eyes gazed through his peers, the first thing he noticed was not Akaashi Keiji’s sea-like eyes. He did not notice how Bokuto let go of Akaashi’s hand when he came bounding over to hug Akinori just a little too tight. 

“Aki~!” Saru rushed over and ruffled Akinori’s hair, and Akinori pushed back lightly, smiling, happy to be back.

He looked happier than before. That was something Akaashi Keiji was pretending not to notice. He pretended not to miss the feeling of Akinori’s eyes on him. 

The “quiet” “whispers” of Bokuto were heard as he jumped around Akinori. “So you don’t like Akaashi? At alllll~?” 

Akinori threw his head back, hair falling around his face, his narrow eyes squinting shut farther than before. He laughed a true, honest laugh. “Akaashi-kun? No, of course not! I couldn’t crush on my little kouhai~!” He pushes his hair back once again, and Akaashi has to pretend he doesn’t see it. He has to pretend he doesn’t feel his heart expand and then shrink in on itself. He didn’t love Konoha Akinori, so why did feeling Bokuto’s hand suddenly feel so wrong?

He sighs and shakes his head, something that Akinori doesn’t even notice. Not like he did before. 

The world was a small place, and of course it was known that timing was everything. 

  
Akaashi had fallen in love just a moment too late.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this monstrosity. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed. You can find my disastrous twitter here 
> 
> https://twitter.com/dysaniacc


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